Why Skyrim makes me feel like I'm on drugs

Now, without going into too many details, I've had enough strange times to be able to identify 'strange times'.

But the sequence of events I just experienced in Skyrim have made me question my own reality.

I hope you're bored, because this will undoubtedly become long winded.

After playing ME3 for weeks, I decided to go back to Skyrim. Some of you might remember that before ME3 came out I was having a hard time finding a skyrim husbando. When I finally did, he left me waiting at the alter for two days. Yes, two days. Then after the vows he RAN OFF. After some searching I found my lizard lover and ordered him to my home to make tasty foodstuff and collect money for me. After some misadventures involving a lot of cabbage and some barrels, I returned to my breeze home only to find it empty. This worried me. It had been days since I ordered my husbando to the kitchen and he was yet to appear. Concerned, I began to trace the path he would have taken to get to me, imagining finding him left for dead on the cobblestone road.

After much searching, I did eventually find him, battling random wildlife halfway between my home and his. I valiantly fought off his attackers, after which he began to run... back to his HOME. Bastard. I followed him all the way back to his home, where I ordered him back to mine AGAIN. Annoyed, I left him to his slow slow SLOW walk back to Whiterun and decided to look for more misadventures.

Morthal. Totally boring as a destination, but there was a bounty for me to collect, so I fast travelled there. It was just as much a shit hole as I remembered, with the added benefit of a blizzard. Walking into town on my trusty steed, the music changed and I knew... there be dragons.

But this was not to be my typical dragon battle. Getting off my horse, I looked up and saw THREE dragons. Two frost dragons and one of the regular fire breathing type. Ohhhhkay... Well within a few moments several of the towns people were running around on fire, and somehow, while using my shout I 'hit' someone, making the entire town turn on me. Hurray. Then the guards show up, dragons still flying around and burning them with fire and ice. I have to pay off my newly earned bounty before I can keep fighting. Once that's dealt with I notice that one of the dragons is dive bombing a pond just north of town. In hot pursuit, I chase the damn thing off into the sticks. It's swooping in, attacking elk and crabs and all sort of wildlife, and I'm fighting my way through trees and shrubs trying to get to the damn thing.

When I've finally got its health whittled down, I'm still hauling ass trying to get within sight of it. When I arrive, the death blows are given by five frostbite spiders and three mudcrabs. As the dragon gives up the ghost, the effect is so bright I can't actually see what's going on, only that things are KICKING MY ASS. Mauled by spiders and crabs, I desperately fight them off. As I finish I see a random, spectral ghost girl, running up to the dragon's body to take a look. WTF, there are ghost just wandering around this place? Then, just when I think it's over, another guard shows up, OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE, and demands I pay a further bounty for... you know... SAVING THEIR TOWN.

And that's where I paused the game. There are two more dragon's waiting for me back in that town. I think I'd rather let them kill everyone off.