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April 16, 2012
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Now, without going into too many details, I've had enough strange times to be able to identify 'strange times'.

But the sequence of events I just experienced in Skyrim have made me question my own reality.

I hope you're bored, because this will undoubtedly become long winded.

After playing ME3 for weeks, I decided to go back to Skyrim. Some of you might remember that before ME3 came out I was having a hard time finding a skyrim husbando. When I finally did, he left me waiting at the alter for two days. Yes, two days. Then after the vows he RAN OFF. After some searching I found my lizard lover and ordered him to my home to make tasty foodstuff and collect money for me. After some misadventures involving a lot of cabbage and some barrels, I returned to my breeze home only to find it empty. This worried me. It had been days since I ordered my husbando to the kitchen and he was yet to appear. Concerned, I began to trace the path he would have taken to get to me, imagining finding him left for dead on the cobblestone road.

After much searching, I did eventually find him, battling random wildlife halfway between my home and his. I valiantly fought off his attackers, after which he began to run... back to his HOME. Bastard. I followed him all the way back to his home, where I ordered him back to mine AGAIN. Annoyed, I left him to his slow slow SLOW walk back to Whiterun and decided to look for more misadventures.

Morthal. Totally boring as a destination, but there was a bounty for me to collect, so I fast travelled there. It was just as much a shit hole as I remembered, with the added benefit of a blizzard. Walking into town on my trusty steed, the music changed and I knew... there be dragons.

But this was not to be my typical dragon battle. Getting off my horse, I looked up and saw THREE dragons. Two frost dragons and one of the regular fire breathing type. Ohhhhkay... Well within a few moments several of the towns people were running around on fire, and somehow, while using my shout I 'hit' someone, making the entire town turn on me. Hurray. Then the guards show up, dragons still flying around and burning them with fire and ice. I have to pay off my newly earned bounty before I can keep fighting. Once that's dealt with I notice that one of the dragons is dive bombing a pond just north of town. In hot pursuit, I chase the damn thing off into the sticks. It's swooping in, attacking elk and crabs and all sort of wildlife, and I'm fighting my way through trees and shrubs trying to get to the damn thing.

When I've finally got its health whittled down, I'm still hauling ass trying to get within sight of it. When I arrive, the death blows are given by five frostbite spiders and three mudcrabs. As the dragon gives up the ghost, the effect is so bright I can't actually see what's going on, only that things are KICKING MY ASS. Mauled by spiders and crabs, I desperately fight them off. As I finish I see a random, spectral ghost girl, running up to the dragon's body to take a look. WTF, there are ghost just wandering around this place? Then, just when I think it's over, another guard shows up, OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE, and demands I pay a further bounty for... you know... SAVING THEIR TOWN.

And that's where I paused the game. There are two more dragon's waiting for me back in that town. I think I'd rather let them kill everyone off.

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:icondruds:
Druds Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013
I lost many sleepless nights over re-rolls and deletions of what where all practically the same charter after I lost all my money to buy the DLC's I decided I had to kick the habit it was getting out of control.
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:iconkuraixgene:
KuraixGene Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
Ugh I know how that is. I once had two fucking ELDER DRAGONS start attacking me while I was near a giant's camp. So I had 2 elder dragons, a giant, and 3 mammoths attacking me. Thank goodness I was ridiculously high leveled or I wouldn't had gotten PWND.

I also had a glitch with one of my husbands. I married Athis of the Companions in one of my files because I couldn't marry Brynolf ( T_T ) and I would take him with me on missions to mostly carry all my shit lol. Anyway, out of nowhere everyt ime I went to go talk to him he would try to kill me! I was like WTF. So eventually I had him follow me to Ulfic's room in his castle, went to talk to Athis, and just had Ulfric kill my hubby for me. Ulfric even used a freakin Thu'um on him! When I heard it I literally sat there, eyes wide, jaw dropped sayin "Holllyyyy shit!" xD
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:iconkuraixgene:
KuraixGene Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
would have gotten PWND*
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:iconenyare:
Enyare Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
Oh man, that is pretty cracked out. Do you know about ZeroPunctuation? You should watch his review on Skyrim. He threw a jab in about Skyrim's many strange and totally surreal errors that gave me a good laugh. [link]
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:iconefleck:
efleck Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh wow, lol, yes.... I watched his review of ME3 too, which was fantastically entertaining. And he's right, talking about skyrim usually ends in glitch swapping! =D
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:icontwilighthellsong:
TwilightHellsong Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
:lmao:

Oh, I shouldn't laugh so hard at someone else's misery, but you...should win some kind of award for this.

Sometimes a dragon's dive-bomb works out in a player's favor though. Once, I was wandering out in the wilderness and I found a word wall and a dragon. Dragon's a tough fight, but doable, and then it decides to try and squish me because it's losing. So it dives, crashes, leaves a huge trail of upturned earth...misses me, because I dodged the bastard. I finish it off while it's immobile and then check the dirt trail just to measure how far that dragon skidded. In the upturned dirt I find a dead hagraven. At the level I was at, a dragon's not going to do me in but a hagraven would have kicked my ass.

That dragon actually saved my life, oddly enough.

Not that the randomness of my experience compares to yours. But I'll be remembering your story next time I'm going Morthal way. Maybe I'll just let the place burn, since everyone's so damn ungrateful...
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:iconefleck:
efleck Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's amazing, lol! I know what you mean about the hagravens... they were tough at the beginning. I was so bent on getting the nettlebane so I could fix that tree but damn if I had a hard time killing the hagraven that was guarding it.

And don't feel bad about laughing at my misery... I'd be laughing at me too (if i weren't so busy making WTF faces at the tv)
:iconxdddplz:
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:iconvulpeinculta:
vulpeinculta Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
Sorry about your unwilling husbando. May I suggest some chains and an iron ball tied to his ankles?

Now that part: "the guards show up, dragons still flying around and burning them with fire and ice" totally makes me think of Game of Thrones. LOL
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:iconefleck:
efleck Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
chain and iron balls you say? that sounds kinky =D
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:iconslins93:
Slins93 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol! I love those moments when all you can think is: "WTF is going on!?"
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